Contentment versus Complacency

Being content with the patterns of your life is a virtue. I strive for contentment. Finding a way to smooth out the rough bits of the world, folding them into some sort of order, and then smiling through it all - this is how I prefer to live my days. I cannot say that I always smile. I certainly do not. I also cannot say that my striving for contentment is always rewarded at the end of the day. But there is another difficulty, one that seems counterintuitive at first glance. You can fail to be content, or you can succeed. Success, however, can also be a failure. If, when achieving contentment, you fall into complacency. I am prone to complacency. I am guilty of believing matters to be settled, when they are not, of order to exist, when there is chaos, and to believe that if I am content, then so must others around me be. Complacency, as you may imagine, is difficult to end. You don't usually realize you are complacent until someone or something shakes you about a bit. Do not get me wrong. I think this shaking a very good thing. I am glad for it. It reminds me that striving for contentment in myself is only part of the work. Striving for contentment in others is also important. I was shaken tonight, and I am grateful. There are now new things to turn my mind to once again. So focused am I on certain, small things that I forget to look up, to cast my gaze around and view a world beyond my navel. Time to find a better balance between contentment and complacency. Where do you draw the line?  

New Year's Resolutions

Last post of the day! This one is simple, and possibly the one I ought to have done first (uh oh, guilt already!): New Year's resolutions.

1. More Bible-reading, in addition to comparative religious study. I just got an awesome apologetics Bible from my parents-in-law, so I'm reinvigorated.
2. Eat properly and work out. Which I did do this past year, but it's the sort of thing you have to re-commit to when the holidays roll around, neh?
3. Submit at least one story for publication per month, once my editing contract is over.
4. Get my take-home exams to Dr. G so I can finally seal the deal on that lingering degree.
5. Assist Sparrow in his dissertation work. One chapter will be done by the end of the Spring semester.

I make resolutions every year. And I do see improvement over time. After all, I haven't vowed to "do everything perfectly" this year, as I did when I was (much) younger. I guess I'll have to re-visit this post and see if I've done all I vowed by year's end. I think I can!

What have you vowed for 2011?

Resolved

I have never had much interest in year-end or year-beginning celebrations. One day is much like another, and I do not see why the 31st of December should receive more excitement than the 22nd of August or the 3rd of May. Still, at this time of year, in order not to seem a total curmudgeon, I do make a habit of writing out a little list of resolutions. Most are banal, but some will add value to my future days.

1. Successfully complete the 2011 Fifty Book a Year challenge.

2. Submit two chapters of my dissertation to my advisors.

3. Write something daily.

4. Continue to curb annoying web-surfing habits.

5. Maintain organizational systems put in place during 2010.

6. Improve organizational systems put in place during 2010.

7. Lose 20 pounds.

8. Take more pictures of Thorn.

9. Keep book journal.

10. Write Fox letters.

11. Cook at home more.

12. Use each of my cooking gadgets at least once this year.

13. Get my borrowed library books under 100.

14. Host a game night once every other month.

15. Look for ways to be more innovative in the classroom.

The Ten Book Challenge

Fox and I own a lot of books. We both had fairly significant individual collections, and in the six years we've been married, we've managed to increase our library by several hundred books a year. We do not, alas, read several hundred books a year, and so we have a growing, ever-growing number of unread books on our shelves. In order to stem the tide, before we are overwhelmed, I have decided to institute the Ten Book Challenge.

I pledge that I will not purchase any new book until I have read at least ten books from my personal library. Books from other libraries do not count, which, you see, makes this challenge rather difficult, as most of my reading is school-library related.

Ten Book Challenge begins now!

Redo

"People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but *actually* from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint - it's more like a big ball of wibbly wobbly... time-y wimey... stuff." - The Doctor

I don't know if the Doctor is right about time, but his statement certainly can apply to blogs. My last entry, sometime in late April, was all about working, about getting enough courage to start working, to stick working, to keep your head up and soldier on. I didn't really do that. I fell. I wept. I shattered into a million pieces, and now, with June rolling to a sweltering close, I am finally putting myself together again.

I have decided to pick up my own challenge. It is necessary to write every day. Writing must become an addiction. I've tried so hard to make it one, but each time I fall short. Well, folks, I'm starting again. I need to. I can't explain why yet, though I think it has a lot to do with sentiments of self-worth, but I need to try again. I need to get it right. Today is Sunday. It begins my week. Tomorrow, Monday, is the first step in my challenge. We'll see how it goes.

Love to you.

~ Sparrow 

Shrink-Wrap

Do you ever feel like time is shrink-wrap, conforming to your habits and pushing out your occasional, deviant joys? I don't like having the mere outline of a life. The only thing I can do is to tear at the shrink-wrap, or else make more things habitual.

Writing, for instance. Who says I have to limit myself to the Most Important Matters first? It isn't as though there is a shortage of ink. Writing is positive feedback. The more you write, the more you create an addiction to write. Starting today, I'm tackling all of my backlogged correspondence, my limping blog, and my dusty idea-books. They will be viewed. Written-in. Covered with words in their imperfection. I will not wait until summer to work on sellable fiction. I will feed my sense of wonder until it is a bonfire, until others' firepits spontaneously ignite. Write, my friends, write! Write before you rot!

...and then post something here of your writing. It doesn't have to be more than a phrase. I'm just keeping you honest! Throw a stick onto the fire, eh? It's cold without words.

Slowly Shrinking

Thursday is weight checking day here, and as has become my new habit, I climbed onto the scale this morning to see if there has been some progress. And, to my surprise, there was! I have broken the 180 lb barrier, which is one of the hardest things for me to do. I've been here before. Actually, I've been here a couple of times. I hope I can maintain my new under 180 weight, but history indicates that it will be an uphill battle. Eating this week hasn't been great. I've cooked nothing of interest, and I've been subsisting on hummus, yogurt, and sesame seed-buttered bagels. I need to get the vegetables up. Thank goodness for V8 Fusions. I'll be trying a cauliflower recipe this weekend. I don't normally go for that particular vegetable, but this new recipe has me interested.

Starting Weight: 186 lbs.
Current Weight: 178.3 lbs.
Goal Weight: 159 lbs.

Good Eating/Good Body Update

It has been one week since I decided to be accountable for what I did to my body. So far, so good. I will still need to watch the portion sizes. I've a tendency to eat meals in an American fashion: large, very large. This, I imagine, accounts for most of my weight trouble since what I'm eating is generally deemed good for you. Fox and I rarely go out to eat anymore, and I think this will help, too. Restaurants are all about portions and hidden fat (which makes everything taste so good!). Next week I'll know more, since I intend to keep a better daily diet guide than I did this week.

Starting Weight: 186 lbs.
Current Weight: 183.6 lbs.
Goal Weight: 159 lbs.

Accountability

I want to lose 27 pounds. I am not in a rush to do this, but I want to get it started. A little more than a year ago I was getting close to my goal weight of 160 lbs, but now I'm up to 186 lbs. Many factors contributed to this weight shift -- not least of which was becoming a dad. While I didn't gain as much weight as poor Fox did when she carried our Thorn, I was eating pregnancy-style right alongside her, and so I watched my deficit become a surplus. I am ready to spend my excess, however, and fit back into my jeans. In honor of this goal, I'm going to call my entire weight-loss scheme: I Wanna Wear My Jeans. I was keeping track of my weight successes and failures on a white-board, but since we are moving, and since the board has been recently delegated to loftier purposes, I've decided to use this blog (weekly) to keep myself accountable.

Starting Weight: 186 lbs
Current Weight: 186 lbs
Goal Weight: 159 lbs

Gaining Health. Losing Pounds.

I want to lose twenty pounds. I have not set a time limit, because I don't want to lose twenty pounds very quickly. Whenever I lose weight quickly, I find that I gain it back just as quickly. My goals are to lose twenty pounds, to keep those twenty pounds off, and to continue the shift in my diet from food of convenience to food of health. Alas, the overabundance of information pertaining to nutrition makes this process difficult. 15 minutes a day. 10 minutes a day. 30 minutes a day. Three hours a week. These are all times advertised by folks who claim to be able to give you a foolproof method to a better body. I just want something that works. Here, then, is my plan. I am going to adapt Michael Pollan's Food Rules to my vision of the world. Mostly, I'm going to do as he says in rule #1 -- I'm going to eat food. That handles diet. Exercise is more difficult. I've no idea what to do. Weight lifting? Cardio? Both? How much of each? I need to do more research. This, my friends, is what an academic does when confronted by a problem. Research, research, research. I'll let you know how it goes.

Be it resolved...

...in 2010.

Sparrow will

     1. exercise two to three times weekly.
     2. work at least 30 minutes a day on his dissertation.
     3. try to remain organized for more than a single day.
     4. only check Facebook twice a day.
     5. only check the news once a day.
     6. plan menus instead of buying random stuff at the grocery store.
     7. finally bake bread.
     8. spend more time with Fox.
     9. finally finish the 50 book challenge.
    10. keep better tabs of his correspondences.
    11. will learn how to use commas, semicolons, and colons.
    12. will write more frequently in Thorn's journal.
    13. will write more frequently in this blog.

Sparrow reserves the right to retain or remove any of the above, as well as the right to add new resolutions whenever it suits him.